


I want you to smile at me like that

by b67112759



Series: Heeseung’s secrete love for Jay & it’s effect on their relationship [4]
Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: He secretly loves his hyungs smile, Heejay, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Is low-key jealous, Is whipped for his hyung but has no idea, Jay is confused with his thoughts, M/M, jayseung, vlive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29561676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b67112759/pseuds/b67112759
Summary: Jay watched Heeseung and Jake’s V live and realises he wanted Heeseung to smile like that around him
Relationships: Lee Heeseung & Park Jongseong | Jay, Lee Heeseung/Park Jongseong | Jay, Park Jongseong | Jay & Yang Jungwon
Series: Heeseung’s secrete love for Jay & it’s effect on their relationship [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2131425
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31





	I want you to smile at me like that

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy ☺️

It wasn't really unusual for Jay to be the first one awake in the dorm. Sometimes he was the first, some days he was in the middle and other days he would be the last to get out of bed (But the last one was unlikely since that title was usually taken by either Heeseung or Niki). Jay had woken up a whole hour before he was supposed to. As they were beginning to think and work on their new content he should have taken every opportunity he had to get as much sleep as possible. 

With this in mind, Jay did his best to go back to sleep, trying to will himself back to the land of dreams. When he realised that it wasn't going to work he carefully got out of bed, being sure not to make any noise and disturb the other members from their sleep. It wasn't their fault that he woke up early and they shouldn't be punished for it by him being inconsiderate and loud. 

Now that he was awake and ahead of schedule, he had some time to kill. He went into the kitchen as he put on his glasses, got himself a drink. He was still tired and restless and was hoping that he could take a nap later in the day to make up for it but for now, he needed some sugar in his system. Jay sat at the table with his drink, tablet and phone opened the v live app. Heeseung and Jake had done a v live the night before but Jay hadn’t been able to watch it so now here he was, the first one awake in the dorm, drinking a glass of coke and clicking on the latest vlive to see what happened in his absence. 

He always liked watched the v lives of the members. He was curious about what they would say or do and maybe even give him inspiration for the next time he was on vlive. Not just that but he liked seeing how they grew and become more confident on camera. There was a time where they were all so camera shy, giggling to cover up their nervous and not knowing what to say or do; they had all come very far and would soon be ready to start doing solo vlives. But today Jay wasn’t watching Heeseung and Jake’s vlive for those reasons. He was watching to check on their interactions. 

Jay would have been pretty stupid if he hadn’t noticed how close Heeseung and Jake had become ever since they started those ‘Ramen dates’. Yes, they had formed a strong bond from the beginning of the survival program iland, Jake having a deep admiration for Heeseung and Heeseung have complete faith in Jakes abilities despite his short training time, but it was those ramen dates that pushed their relationship to a new and different level. Jake was a lot more attached to Heeseung, often complimenting him, smiling at him, hugging him or just touching him one way or another. 

They probably had deep private conversations as well during their ramen time. Something that Heeseung and Jay used to have in the past. They used to have such deep conversations. They would bare their souls, show them who they were behind everything other people saw. Something they only did for each other because they were so connected. Connect beyond words and actions. There were things Jay told the older that he couldn't even tell his own mother; that was one way to sum up his relationship with the Ace. But they didn't do those things anymore. Heeseung wasn't the same around him. He wouldn't let him make ramen any more, he wouldn't lean his head against Jay's chest regularly like Jay knew he loved to do, he wouldn't joke around the same way. Yes they were still close, close enough for Heeseung to be a constant stability in his life but the slight shift was beginning to unsettle him more and more. It was like Heeseung was trying to reduce the natural intimacy in their relationship and form it with someone else's. A crime in Jay's eyes. With Heeseung pulling himself away from Jay neither of them approached the other to talk the same way they used to. They did still talk - Heeseung hadn't taken that away from him - but the depth was no longer there. Every time it would get to the point where they would take the step in the conversation Heeseung was quick to bring it back to an acceptable level. With that happening, Jay found himself going to Jungwon, or Sunghoon or Niki. He would tell them his worries... some of them. Other things could only be heard by his hyung alone. It wasn't the same, but it was better then keeping it all in because that wouldn't be healthy.   
  


All things considered, you could just stay that Heeseung and Jake were just normal close friends. But for Jay, it brought about a lot of questions he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answers to.

_ Does Jake like Heeseung?  _

_ Does Heeseung like Jake?  _

_ Are they dating? _

_ Have they been secretly dating for a while?_

_ Is this why Heeseung's been pulling away from me? _

_ Why do they always look so happy together? _

_ How do I make him that happy again?  _

_ Where did I go wrong? _

He knew that if he really wanted to know he would have to ask them the questions because only they knew the answers. But he couldn’t do that. Jay didn't want to find out anything unpleasant. So instead he pressed on the vlive video and began to take mental notes. He wanted to do vlive with Heeseung sometime soon so it would be good to see how the two be around the older without constantly thinking about how good Heeseung skin looked, how magical his doe eyes were, how his smile could light up a room and - well I think you get the point so i'll stop exposing Jay. 

When starting the vlive and watching the first thing Jay noticed was just how good Heeseung looked. Like he looked really good. He was what the fans loved to call ‘ boyfriend material ’. He was exactly that. The outfit looked really good on him. The jacket was a perfect fit. The black top really complimented him and that necklace just tied off the whole outfit. Jay was proud at how his style improved. It wasn't that Heeseung didn't have good style before, it was just that he didn't much attention and didn't always put much thought into it. But recently he was becoming a natural. 

_How can he look so cute yet so handsome at the same time? _ , Jay wondered. Heeseung had incredible duality. All of the members did but Heeseung was something else. The ability to draw people on with both sides and make you fall hook line and sinker was something Jay knew that caught people out. He could look completely innocent at one moment and look so sinful the next that. It wasn’t really fair how he was naturally good. But then again he was the Ace. It was to be expected. 

The second things Jay noticed was just how much Heeseung seemed to be smiling with Jake. It was like there was a permanent smile on his face. Or he was laughing. He was clearly happy to be there with Jake, drinking their drinks and talking. It looked so natural. Like they had known each other for years. So many years and they naturally fitted together. It wasn't right or fair. Jay had been the one who had known Heeseung for many years. He was the who was going to spend 400 and more years with his hyung. And yet Heeseung and Jake were so familiar all of a sudden. If Jay had been watching this with fresh and unbiased eyes then he would have enjoyed the vlive a lot more. Instead, he was left with a sour feeling in his body because he wanted to do what Jake did. He wanted Heeseung to smile like that around him. (Well in all honesty if Jay had been more attentive in the past he would know that Heeseung had and always looked at him as if he was the reason for his existence).   
  


Frustrated and annoyed he still kept watching, his mind whirling as he tried to understand what had happened. How he had been.... been replaced in Heeseung’s life? Was he longer the person who could make Heeseung’s smile the most? Who could make him happy in an instant? Was it now Jake?

It wasn't that Jay was annoyed at Jake for making Heeseung smile like that, the Australian born was allowed to do that. What bothered Jay was that he didn't know how to do it now that things had changed between him and Heeseung. He - of course - still had the ability to make Heeseung laugh and smile, but the older wasn't giving him much opportunity and was holding back a lot.   
  


As the live continued Jay took out his phone and opened Twitter on his private account. He was curious to what their Engenes thought about the live. They were so perceptive at times. There were so many people gushing at how close Heeseung and Jake were. How this ‘ship’ was slowly rising. It... It was disappointing.  
  
  


Deciding that reading what people were saying about the duo wasn’t doing him any good and he began to just scroll down his normal feed. His mood improved when he saw people praising him and his members for their skills and visuals. It kept improving, especially when he stumbled along a thread of pictures of Heeseung smiling. He could help he click on the thread and look at each picture. _His smile is so pretty_ , was one of thoughts that came to his mind. 

He kept going and scrolling through his Twitter but suddenly stopped when he saw a thread of him and Jungwon. He opened the thread and looked at the many moments they had since iland. Before they were a couple and after a couple.

_Shit, what am I doing?,_ he asked himself placing his phone down.

He wasn’t this person. He was not this person. He was with Jungwon. He was committed to Jungwon. He’s the one who asked Jungwon out, not the other way around. He had no right to suddenly think about his best friend and think about he pretty he was.

“Jay you have a boyfriend. Stop being thinking about your best friend as anything other than what he is” he whispered to himself as he also got off the vlive app.

He needed to stop. He wasn’t going to be this person.

It wasn't happening. 

Never


End file.
